#NOW i gotta fo this shit again

[skrunksthatwunk]

god im so mad at myself rn. i have multiple assignments and i SHOULD be doing them or sleeping or doing the Massive Neglected Amount Of College Stuff or making my mom's bday present (it's tomorrow, haven't started). you wanna know what i did instead? you wanna know what I've been sitting on the floor doing for the past hour and a half?

i (non-polish speaker but interested in the concept of being one) decided I'm gonna learn all the words to hej sokoły. yeah the folk song. this is not the first time this has happened with this song either. I'm so mad what the fuck is happening. i would still like to kiss whoever made the word skowroneczku on the mouth with tongue bc it's the best vocal stim but fuck off othwrwise you're ruining my LIFEEE

[hobies-princealbert]

pornstar! hobie brown x pornstar! reader (part 2) | (nsfw)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who since you last collabarted with helped your page grow practically overnight. you started to gain more followers, and collaborations, even from creators that turned you down before. it was all so exciting, it was everything you could have ever wanted. well almost...

☆ pornstar! hobie brown that even though it the reason you're now so popular, you still felt something missing. you tried not to thing about that empty feeling you had after each shoot, cause maybe next time would be better. but it was never none of your collaborators made your head spin the way hobie did. you were lucky if you actually orgasmed, most of the time you faked most of them.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who practically lived in your mind 24/7. you wanted to hit him up again. you really did....but you didn't want to seem desperate or like you were just using him.

☆ luckily, you didn't need to sit on the though for too long, since, just like last time, pornstar! hobie brown hit you up. that same rush of excitement you felt the last time came rushing back. you didn't even wait a second to respond. crazy how a simply text from him got you more worked up that anyone has in the past couple months.

☆ and before you knew it, pornstar! hobie brown was sending you the details of your next meet up. he made sure to book the same hotel as last time, and even the same room. even though the room provided an air of familiarity, the conversation wasn't. you two didn't really talk much after y'alls first get together. but the sexual tension was definitely there.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who was kind of taken aback with how shy you still were. but he could tell by the way you leaned into him and looked in his eyes when he spoke, that you weren't scared. just shy. he couldn't help but smile when you nervously tried to go over what was to happen. honestlyhe could care less about the run over, thruth be told he was just as eager as you to start fucking each other numb.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown told you just like last time to guide him where you wanted him. and to his surprise you hopped off his lap. he was almost worried he did something wrong, but once you fell to your knees he knew where this was going.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who grew the biggest shit eating grin on his face when he saw how willing you were to take the reigns on this time. last time you couldn't even look him in the eye, but now you were lacking long stripes along his shaft. when your tongue felt strained you took to lightly sucking on his tip for a bit. once you were brave enough, you took his shaft till it touch the back of your throat. it was a tough fit, but listening to hobie's groans and moans made the sensation of drool dripped down to you chin an afterthought. "god darlin', i know you missed me but fuckin' hell. don't make me come yet you know i gotta work on you first. come 'ere. "

☆ pornstar! hobie brown was kinda surprised at how he still had to ease his length into you. last time since he didn't know if your cunt could take the stretch, but now he has to be extra careful with you this time. you were bucking your hips into him you, and whining for him to hurry, and he didn't even have the tip in yet. he had to use his body weight to hold you in place cause even when he was obviously trying to go slow, you didn't want slow.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who realized that you were desperate as hell. i mean look at you. your just mindlessly forcing your hips back to meet his. you don't care if you broke the rhythm. you couldn't stand that empty feeling whenever he pulled out even a little. "shit luv you're gonna hurt yourself. slow down fo' me won't you? i know you missed me, you don't gotta tell me that. but i don't want you to hurt yourself, ok?"

☆ pornstar! hobie brown doesn't know how long it's been since you've been this worked up. even when you collaborated with other creators, none of them felt the same. hobie was the only one that knew how to dig into your guts just the way you liked it. you knew he didn't want you to hurt yourself but god can'the just forget all that. "luv come on listen to me. calm down just a bit. sh shhh I know. it's ok baby, she's still a perfect fit don't worry. just make her relax fo' me."

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who ate you out from the back till you legs gave out. he insisted on cleaning you up. worse part was he didn't even wait till your orgasm subsided. once he felt you were close, he'd pull out, and before you knew it his tongue was forcing its way into you. even if you shook and cried from overstimulation, he'd just follow you anywhere your hips jerked.

☆ pornstar! hobie brown that made sure to get a good shot of when you finally squirted for him. he had your back flush against his chest. the only things you would hear were the muffled sounds of his voice, and the wet sound of his hand colliding with your cunt over and over again. yep, he was slapping it. his palm was so big it hit all of it each time. "com' on let it out luv. dont hold it in, make a mess. promise I'll clean you up. ooohh that's it good, good, good, just breathe baby."

☆ pornstar! hobie brown who would like last time, opened your legs to the camera. and as if to show he has successfully fucked you dumb, he gave you one last slap. this time he eased his fingers in, which he had no problem doin. slid them out, and grinned at the thick, translucent sheen that stuck to them. he wanted them to see just how much you came. "com' on let 'em see how fucked out she is. shhh baby lemme in. fuckin hell look at this. you're just perfect as always.

[rubiehart]

hi! ‘m not sure if you’re taking requests rn but i had this thought of jj x waitress!reader, like she’s just trying to take their order and he won’t stop flirting with her. love love love your work!!

i think this request has been sitting in my inbox for over two months i’m soo sorry i’m only just getting to it now. love u nonnie!

you’re working the bar, turns out bussin tables wasn’t your strong suit when the locals would get a little too persistent towards you and you’d go off, snarky little comments that’s just piss them off in turn, you just couldn’t help it.

it’s another gloomy day at work, wiping the counter with some dirty rag that was probably doing more harm than good, but it was just so boring, until the little bell rings above the door signaling an enterance of someone new, eyes springing up from the counter as the boy walks in.

he was cute, fairly buff, red cap rested atop his sun damaged blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, you did a double take and sharply looked away when he began walking towards you, reaching for a glass and cleaning it with the same rag, as he sinks down into the bar stool directly in-front of you. “that rag don’t look very sanitary to me.” he smirks, waiting for you to catch his eye but you don’t. “no shit.” you mumble, internally rolling your eyes but refraining.

“woah.” he chuckles putting his hands up in surrender, which only makes you more pissed. “got a little fire in you, my bad.” you just flick your eyes up to him, clearly unamused. “what do you want?” slamming the glass down onto the beer mat, resting one hand on the beer taps.

“bold of you to assume i want a beer.” he shrugs, not loosing his playful tone even after being shot down so many times, you’ve gotta applaud his confidence. “so natty light?” you ask, fed up of his antics as his smirk only grows wider. "another assumption.” he assess.

“listen, you look poor, natty light’s target consumer. so yes or no?” you ask, and he scoffs. “natty light please.” and you nod, bending down to grab one from the fridge under the counter. you slide it across to him and he hands you a pile of coins, you roll your eyes and start counting it.

he cracks open the tab and takes a long sip before speaking again. “so, what’s a pretty girl like you doin’ working’ at this shit shack?” he leans forward, flashing that charming smile. “what’s it to y’a?” you mumble and he hisses. “you’re stubborn.” he adds and you nod. “y’a think?” you ask sarcastically and he smiles, before you look at him again.

“you’re 25 cents short.” you nod towards the pile of coins, he tongues the cut on his lip and sighs. “tell you what? consider this payment.” he says before reaching for your hand, turning it over and scrawling something on your palm, dropping the pen onto the counter top and winking, taking the can with him before the bell above the door rings again fo signal his departure before you can even get a word of protest in.

he’d written his number on your palm, in possibly the worst handwriting you’d ever seen, wondering how you were gonna decipher this shit later. you finally let the smile creep onto your face that you’d been holding, you were calling, no doubt about it.

[mizusnose]

An Orange for My Love

mizu x reader June heat

hello again. been a while, huh? life’s been busy and moving fast. here’s a little something to make up for it. more writing in the future i hope. send in some requests :)

———

The heat of June makes you sweat around the edges of your hairline. You can feel the dry heat stick to your skin and cover you like a thin sheen of fabric. It’s suffocating and the AC unit has broken down, and now the windows are thrown open despite Mizu’s assurance that she felt fine. You knew she didn’t.

Somehow, the work you’d both been doing had sludged fo a stop, fragmented bits of your productivity melting off with each minute of the summer heat.

You glance Mizu’s way, a tired lazy grin on your face. She’s wearing huge basketball shorts that go past her knees when she stands up fully. The ones you bought her from the thrift store in town. Her wrists and arms and shoulders are out. Covered only by the chunky tank top that dips low and shows off her collarbones, freckled and red from the heat. Your thirst only grows as she smiles lazily back at you.

“Floor time?” You ask, unsurprised by Mizu’s eye roll.

“Fifteen minutes tops. Gotta get some stuff in.”

“Lame.”

“That’s adulthood” Mizu shrugs, slipping down past the coffee table and scooting off your thrifted carpet.

“Adulthood sucks” You sigh, meeting Mizu’s gaze once you’re both on the floor. You stretch your arm out and tip your fingers towards Mizu. There’s a patch of sun making its way towards you both, but not quite there yet. It creates a halo glow around Mizu’s body. Her hair staticky and frizzed from the humidity.

Time passes like this: you both drifting in and out of bird song and breezes that shift the tree leaves. Eventually, Mizu stands and groggily makes her way to the kitchen.

“what’re ya doin’” you mumble, too heat-soaked to properly pronounce.

Silence. Only the sound of a drawer opening and closing, the clatter of plates, and Mizu sniffling.

You don’t bother following. Content to stay put and not do anything until nightfall when the cicadas become silent and the air thins out to see the stars overhead.

Mizu’s foot pokes you in the side and you’re met with her long limbs and longer hair that she’s adjusted into a bun.

“Up. Eat.”

You listen only because Mizu sits next to you and helps you up. Her touch burns hot and you blame the weather, the season. Anything but the thunder in your chest, a quiet frenzy in your bones.

“Oranges.” You declare. Like a little kid learning colors and shapes. Mizu nods proudly regardless of the childlike wonder.

The thick orange slices are washed and cleaned, their skin ripped to reveal the glisten of the fruit. Color like sunset and lava, you take a bite and hum appreciatively.

Mizu sets the plate between you. This way, its thigh, plate, thigh. The glass the only thing separating you both.

“Good?”

You nod, swallowing quickly to answer: “Farmers market?”

Mizu nods, taking one for herself.

The sun spot that had started at the edge of the wall is now sitting cozily on Mizu’s hip. It splashes up her ribs and dips to her bellybutton. It’s undoubtedly hot, yet Mizu says nothing. Instead, she rips the skin of the orange slice off decisively, suddenly licking into the fruit.

It’s no use. She’d pulled too hard and the juice runs down her arm and collects at her elbow, into the crease of it. It catches the light and you start to stare as it drips onto Mizu’s basketball shorts.

“Shit—let me..”

And her lips are back to the fruit, a sharp suck sounds and mizu hums as she rips the skin away and eats the entirety of the orange slice. The juice only multiplies and is now creating a small puddle on the fabric of her shorts. It stays for a second before soaking into the cloth.

“Sorry. Messy.” Mizu jokes, lifting her arm and licking the juice off, starting from the elbow to her fingers. She sucks the rest of the juice from her fingers and wide palms. The sound makes you shiver despite the bead of sweat making its way down the center of your back.

“All good. Oranges are a mess—uh, messy. They’re messy. Not your fault at all!”

You fear Mizu will finally find out about your feelings for her because of an orange of all things. Yet, when you meet her eyes, they’re closed. Crinkled in a bright smile.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

The summer heat doesn’t die down for a while after that. But even when the night arrives, your cheeks still burn and your blood runs hot.

[transhawks]

Hawks becoming the psc president, when will hori let my man take a break???😭😭😭😭

But seriously, like he's a known workaholic, and he's a master at repressing shit. Wanna bet he'll barely ever leave the office? He's gonna run himself ragged trying to fix everything, even with help from others.

Also going back to being stuck in one place like in his childhood, even if its for a different reason now and he could leave as he wants, my poor baby😭😭

I'm hopeful it's only temporary and he can leave on a self discovering journey afterwards or some stuff like that but if he doesn t then at least we got suit hawks again...? Gotta be optimistic. On that note what is he so hot fo-

No, he's already seemingly quite hands-on. He doesn't have to be stuck and he seems like he's the sort to not just stay in an office. Actually I think that's a big difference between him and Madame Prez. She was always in that tower of hers. Keigo, however, had this one panel that is really making sense now:

You would think that would hit him before Jin, but he really did go out and listen to people. Everyday people. And he's the kind to go out and do that again because that's how he figures out what's happening, so I think there's going to be a very different approach with him and how he actually deals with society.

And yeah he's clearly a workaholic who will breakdown but that's a story for his middle-aged years lmao. We can explore it in fic, and just end it with "Keigo's going to have his hands full for the rest of his twenties".

[mcondance]

BRO IMAGINE EDGING FONTAINE ( I need to go to bed i’m criminally horny just thinking about this shit) -👹

go to hell

fuck i posted something abt this a minute ago but i’m such a “fontaine loud ass bitch” enthusiast like he’s so LOUD.

at first he takes it, seething quietly when you pull your hand off of him, kissing his thighs to calm him down.

then, he gets a little antsy, maybe the 3rd or 4th time, cause all he wants to do is cum, all he wants to do is bust all over you and himself. that’s when he starts bargaining.

long drawn out moans and he’s tryna calm down— “you gon le’me cum? or i gotta beg?”. . and he’s so outta breathe, sucking in air and sinking his nails into whatever he can reach while you steal climax after climax from him. “fuck, why you do me like this? hm?” he questions, falling into more and more pieces, while you edge him 5 and 6 times, wrapping a rough hand around his balls.

he’s at his breaking point, now, and he’s locking his eyes with yours and simply saying “please, baby,” his voice deep and raspy and needy.

he can feel it building up again. and it’s surging under his skin so hot that he knows he’s gonna bust hard so he’s grunting with gritted teeth, golds dancing in the light, jerking his hips up into your hand while he prays to whoever’s listening, “lemme cum, baby, swea’ i’ll cum good fo’ you.”

you smile. “yeah?”

“yeah.” he’s so, so close. “please.” he slurs, throwing his head back against the headboard, eyes rolling back.

“you promise?”

his eyes snap back to yours, and he’s hissing from another wave of pleasure before he answers you. “promise, baby, fuckin’ promise.” he’s right there, you just have to say the word.

with a smile that has his thighs tensing up with the need to cum and cum now, you finally let him go. “you can cum, fontaine.” and the way you say his name makes it all the more mind-shattering when he cums, ragged breathes leaving his heaving chest, mouth hanging slack while you keep twisting your hand on his dick. he hears you giggle from the place you’ve sent him and that makes it last longer, your pretty voice finding him and driving him crazy. you watch with wild eyes as his cum oozes down his dick, thick and creamy, and his eyes meet yours and he’s jerking his hips up into your hand at the sight, grunting deep and low again.

after, when he’s brought back down by your soft kisses on his stomach and thighs, he’s smiling and pulling you up to him to kiss you and whisper “shit get better every time.” and you nod knowingly before kissing him again.

[hastyprovocateur]

Another Analysis on Mizu×Akemi

(Because there can never be enough)

l gotta admit it... the show was very ambiguous as to which character ends up with who and under what circumstances they're going to like each other. A lot of people see Taigen and Mizu because Mizu's sexuality, atleast in regards to liking men, is confirmed. She did feel attracted to her husband when she was married and she does associate some strong feelings with Taigen since she imagined that heated fight moment in the brothel when Kaji showed her the threesome. Then again... it's a threesome so there's allusion but no absolutes so far.

As for Mizu and Akemi, even if the two women could move in a romantic direction, they were too tied up in their own shit. Mizu was preoccupied with her revenge which is why she gave Akemi up in ep5 and Akemi couldn't see past her marriage with Taigen not because she thought he was a great guy but because he was the best option. He was close to home and not an entire brute as far as she knew. And then she didn't have a choice in marrying Taka either who turned out to be decent but no man warrants undying love just for being half human.

Needless to say, Akemi was dealing with her own shit. Mizu had Fowler to kill and there was little allusion to romance even if there are strong feelings between the two. Akemi, still, had to mean something for Mizu to flash back the first time their eyes met on the bridge when she was close to dead. As well as the addition of Akemi's knife to her blade. Likewise, Akemi claimed to have searched the onryo's eyes for love. But that's it as far as proof of feelings go. Nothing more Nothing less.

Coming to Mizu, even if her feelings were involved somewhere between Taigen and Akemi, she didn't didn't intervene in ep 8 and set the record straight by setting Akemi free, sending Taigen after her so they can be together and then leaving Ringo with Master Eiji. I was convinced that Akemi was gonna run into Taigen's arms after finding her newfound freedom but I was impressed when she chose greatness instead.

As for Mizu's revenge, she deliberately embarked to London alone. As far as she knows, everyone is better off without her but we see quite evidently that after Mizu's intervention nothing is going to be the same again. This doesn't show that she doesn't care, she does to the extent of resolving everything so they can be happy, but for the sake of her revenge, it is understood that Mizu doesn't want to get distracted from her focus or have a loved one get injured because of her path.

NOW... everything else is speculation. It's anyone's guess so I'll try my hand at it. I'm thinking of the bigger picture here and no revenge story ends in revenge right? It ends with love. And Mizu won't be paired up with a Londoner I'm sure, because her story has to wind back to Japan, where she started.

So who could she end up with? Ringo is her best friend and confidante but the writing focuses greatly on their platonic bond. There is allusion to more with Taigen, who is her childhood bully turned blood brother granted he's not major of a character, the writers downplayed him themselves by not giving him that intense of a character arc like Akemi or a whole change of absolute resolve for revenge unlike Mizu.

Writingwise, Taigen was always kinda straddling the line of liking Akemi but really not, wanting to kill Mizu but really not, wanting honour but really not, wanting happiness but really not. His end wasn't concluded beyond him getting rejected by Akemi and his and Mizu's future was not remotely indicated. If he was on the ship with her, the writers would've shown us but he's suspended midair for the time being.

If Mizu is to have a high stake romance, it... has to be with Akemi... don't you think? Taigen never posed any real threat to Mizu, he can't outclass or outsmart her, they have great camaraderie and that's when he finally decided to treat her decently and going beyond to show loyalty, trust and support for what she does. There wasn't heavy ground for him to dislike her initially either, outside of his own arrogance. It wasn't a big change of character on his part to like Mizu since he's never had sincere grounds for hating her in the first place.

Even if Taigen improves his character in the following season, I can't see Mizu and Taigen being balanced and opposed enough for the two to willingly choose the other against the odds as opposed to falling in love due to convenient proximity. Taigen, I'm sorry to say, seems to blow with the wind and doesn't have much determination for pursuits as far as the writing goes. Pairing that with Mizu's iron will creates dissonance. If Mizu chooses love, it would be against the ODDS of all her other pursuits.

Her rage. Her revenge. Her agony.

And that, I only see matched in Akemi.

Only Akemi could go against her grain as much as Mizu to actually fall in love.

Akemi isn't in love with the Shogun's son, but has accepted him as a means to her pursuit for greatness for the purpose of which Takayoshi is a decent man who is likely to not try and subdue her. I'd go so far to say Akemi has rejected love as a means to survive and is bent on acquiring power to ensure her success so that no harm comes her way because. Just like Mizu, she once fought for love only to get betrayed by it.

Seki brought the Shogun's proposal to Daichi because he'd decided on Akemi's behalf that "Im only doing what's right for you." Taigen put his honour above ensuring that Akemi is not displaced in his absence, Akemi's father had all intentions of carting her off as a commodity to the Shogun's for his own political schemes, telling her that she's "not the hero of his family." And Mizu... also doomed Akemi in the hubris of thinking "She's better off."

In Kaji's words- "You stood by as the guards dragged her away screaming." Akemi doesn't see Mizu as trustworthy anymore, any overture for friendship or romance will take a lot from her end because from Akemi's perspective, she rode back captive on horseback with strange men, coming to terms with that fact that her agency will now be ripped away, her teeth blackened as an accessory to visually appeal to her new family and she'll be forced into her new husband's quarters to commit her "wifely duties." Takayoshi not being a brute was an exeption to the rule and for which Akemi is greatly lucky which makes sense why she's decided to stick by her new means and to work within them.

Circling back to stories... just as all revenge stories end with the prevalence of love so do all stories of greatness. Akemi and Mizu both deserve to be loved and it is evident because that's all they wanted initially. A simple house on the edge of nowhere, a life unremarkable and staid. Filled only by love and the company of two. For both Mizu and Akemi, this dream of love only brought crushing pain, it cemented them into paths where they want anything but love. Mizu in her descent for revenge and Akemi on her ascent to power. Their middle ground is love which they will have to fight towards if they ever decide to meet halfway but god... it would be a glorious fight.

In a future season... if a certain someone... fell in love enough to give up... power... and a certain someone fell in love enough to give up revenge. If the red eyed princess... decided to run away with the blue eyed samurai... in that, I will find peace...

[moxfirefly]

The leo one, is the foot one...

“Wait—uh—do…do that again.”

“Ah, fuck.”

We made it to the big leagues, I’m officially realising this into the void. I love you Ray 🖤

Rated Mature (18+ only)

Your lips melted against his own, the sensation of his tongue slipping inside of your mouth making you grind against him.

Leo’s hands had drifted to your lower back, strong hands slipping to your rear to grab at the soft flesh.

The moan that went into his mouth fed him.

You’d been at it for a little while now, your knees protesting against the rough fabric of your old couch. With one final peck and a smirk you told him to give you a second.

“Gotta invest in a better couch, shits killing my knees,” Leo regretfully let you go, hands itching to get you back.

“I happen to think it’s cozy, but that’s just my opinion.” He lifted his hips, his dick was digging to the side of his thigh, god why were you so far away.

With a grin he reached for you again. You placed a foot between his legs. “Ah ah, be good now I’m just getting the blood back to my legs.” You smiled, Leo’s eyes watched your foot press against his clothed crotch.

He swallowed.

Audibly.

“You okay there, Blue-“ You were just about to move your foot when his hand gripped your calf. “Wait—uh—do…do that again.” He whispered so softly, eyes unable to meet your own.

You arched an eyebrow, stifled a giggle.

“Oh Leo, do we have a fo-“

“Please don’t make fun of me…”

You smiled, dug the arch of your foot against his crotch, hard enough to make his hips arch, enough to shut his eyes and pressed his lips tightly together.

When you rubbed, when you felt his dick jump, heard that shaky ‘ah, fuck’, well let’s just say, you could get behind this if he looked this turned on.

[desired-misery]

Whumptober WIP | Ingrid Hunnigan's POV [Post-Resident Evil 4]

[quick context: Condor = Leon Kennedy Tony = another FOS agent like Ingrid Webster = FOS agent/mission commander, was in charge of Ingrid and Condor during RE4 This is the first time Ingrid and Leon work together after Spain. This scene happens over the comms]

...

Condor sighs. “Why am I being coddled? This is probably the most straightforward—”

Tony looks up, not quite rolling his eyes. “No one is coddling you, Condor. If anything, it's to help out our new FOS agent—”

“So I've been demoted to training material now? Fantastic.” There is Condor’s scathing sarcasm. Did not take him long at all to get there. 

“Hello, Condor,” Ingrid jumps in to see if she can shake Condor’s irritation from getting any worse.

Condor’s tone flips into something friendlier. “Is that Hunnigan? You got looped into my bullshit, too?”

Ingrid smiles faintly. “It’s good to work with you again.”

“No, don’t say that. You won’t mean it in about…” Condor hums, thinking. “Ten missions, tops.”

That tells her more about how realistic Condor’s reputation is more than anything else. Ingrid’s smile falters into a grimace.

“Ten is generous,” Tony says. “Are you planning on being nice?”

Condor chuckles, then sighs. “I’m being babied right now, Tony. Look at the shit they’ve got me doing.”

“It’s pretty basic, which is good for you. Both of you,” Tony says. “Hunnigan is new, and I was informed you’ve been on medical leave for a while.”

Condor groans. “Christ, how many hoops do I gotta jump through to prove—”

“It’s good to take things nice and easy,” Tony says, but Condor is not in the mood to be soothed.

“Fuck taking things easy, I’ve been sitting on my ass for months,” Condor snaps.

Ingrid wonders how anger-prone Condor is, because Tony doesn’t react at all.

Condor continues. “If this is all they’re gonna give me, I’m gonna—”

“That is all you’re going to get, Condor, until you have proven to be back in the saddle.” Webster’s voice flows through the line, an unusual break from his usual silence.

“Ugh, not you, too,” Condor replies. “Seriously?”

“It’s standard, Condor. Do well, get better assignments.” Webster says, unfazed.

“I gotta earn this shit?” Condor asks, disgusted. 

“I am sure you will go back to your usual fare as soon as possible. Maybe quicker, if things go really well.” Webster replies without the slightest shift in his flat, unbothered tone. 

“I can’t believe it,” Condor says. “I was cleared, I’m fine—”

“For this,” Webster interrupts again, firm without reacting.

“Fuckin’ hell.” But then Condor sighs, letting out all his frustration. “Fine. I’ll do your stupid fetch quest— god, the boredom is going to put me back in medical...”

“Boredom is good, that’s what we want,” Tony says. 

“It’s not what I want,” Condor shoots back, as petulant as an angsty teen. “Not right now. I’m sick of being bored—”

“Please, Condor, let’s keep things boring for a little while, okay?” Ingrid asks. “I’d like to know what counts as boring to you, just this one time?”

“I guess I can try boring for you,” Condor replies, his mood lightening.

“I would really appreciate that,” Ingrid replies.

“I probably owe you that, don’t I? For saving my ass.” Obviously, Ingrid cannot see him, but she is sure that Condor is smiling based on his tone.

“Let’s go with that.”

Condor chuckles, low and warm. “Fine, we can keep things easy.”

“Why don’t we try for ‘calm’, see where that gets us,” Ingrid offers instead.

Condor laughs.

...

[angel-gone-dark]

He’s Got His Mother’s Hips - 2 [Cigarette Daydreams]

CWs: smoking, swearing, shamelessly inserting me and my fav mutual, lesbians. also kenny accidentally steals a lighter but that’s ok.

Leigh gnawed at his lower lip, tapping his pencil on the paper as he glanced at the clock. The morning had gone on awkward and choppy, an introduction in almost every class. He was just glad his mother had put his preferred name in the system. The bell rang and he shoved his shit in his bag, dashing off through the cafeteria and the back doors to be alone outside.

Except he wasn’t. He looked up at the blonde, who nodded at him politely. A cigarette hung from his lips, and he scratched at the scruff of his chin.

“Thought you didn’t smoke.”

“I don’t. Needed to get out of that stuffy ass school. I hate these people.” Kenny nodded at that.

“I get it. Can I bum your lighter again?” He felt a bit bad asking, but Leigh was happy to oblige, and tossed it to him.

“...What kind of cigs?” He wasn’t the best at small talk.

“Marlboro. Reds.” Kenny showed him the package. “Why?”

“Those smell the best. My dad used to smoke them all the time.”

“What happened? He quit?” Kenny lit his cigarette.

“...No, he died.” Kenny sputtered, almost dropping the lighter and choking on the smoke.

“Dude, bombshell.” He patted his chest with his fist.

“I know, sorry. I just haven’t had anyone to talk to about it.” Kenny ruffled the new guy’s hair. 

“‘S okay.” He cleared his throat and took a big drag off his cigarette. “I… that’s gotta be hard. I’m sorry.”

“It is, yeah. Not to mention my mother uprooted my life and dragged me here.”

“Maybe you need a cig.” He joked. Leigh smiled up at him.

They stayed like that until the scruffy guy finished. They walked right into the lunchroom together. 

“McCormick, what the hell have you done to him?” April glared, obviously joking. 

“Nothing!” He put his hands up in mock defense. 

“Good.” She slung her arm around Leigh, walking him over to the lunch line. “Boy, you smell like cigarettes. You smoke?”

“Nah, Kenny smoked next to me. I like the smell, though…” He nodded. “I’m sorry about it…”

“Nah, I’m used to it. Kenny smells like that all the time.”

“You two hang out a lot?” April shook her head. 

“Not much anymore, since I’ve been going out with Wendy.” Leigh looked shocked, and she laughed. “What? I know I don’t look queer but come on, that girl is everything.”

They got their lunch, thanking the cafeteria staff and sitting at a table. The temporary peace the two found was interrupted by the same five boys from the bus that morning. Leigh fell silent, his gaze trained on where he prodded at his food.

“Aw don’t act scared of me now.” Kenny teased, stealing a fry from Stan’s tray (to the latter’s dismay).

“Dude, he’s scared of all of us. At once.” Kyle snipped, shoving glasses up his nose. Leigh noted they were… a lot nicer than his own. 

“Buddy!” Butters chirped, plopping right across from Leigh. He would have sat next to him, but Kenny had stolen that spot first. 

“Oh great, now we’re sitting with the faggot and bimbo? Wonderful. My day can’t get any better.” Cartman sat down, too. 

“You don’t have to sit with us, fatass!” Kyle said through grit teeth. 

“Yeah, well, everybody else fucking sucks ass. You guys just suck the least right now.” He spoke no further, digging into his plate. 

“So Leigh,” Kyle started. “Where are you from?”

“N-New Hampshire.” He didn’t look up. 

“Oh, nice. What’s it like there?”

“Like Colorado but… more hills, I guess?”

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Stan raised a brow at him.

“No, not really.” He finally took a bite of his food. 

“Do you hate us?” Butters pouted a little. Leigh nearly choked on his salad. 

“No? Why on earth would I? Should I?” He gave April a concerned glance. She shrugged back at him. 

“No, no,” Kyle said, reading a textbook as he ate. “Except Cartman. You can hate him.”

Cartman exclaimed in protest, but the rest of the table filled with giggles. The conversation began to flow, and the new kid found himself listening and laughing along- especially to wacky stories from the boys’ childhood. He found April was the real star at the table, witty and funny. She also went to bat with Cartman just like Kyle did.

As everyone split for class, Leigh found a huge grin overtaking his face. He figured he could get used to it here. 

word count: 755

[steph-schuyler]

hi all!

was rewatching ITH and decided to write a little fic because yk-motivation

type-angst??i guess :)

warnings:mention of death,mentions of harrasment/catcalling

anyway hope you like!

Vanessa Lost

I stood,frozen to my feet as the lights blazed different colours.I felt dizzy from being spun around,a mix of dinner and alchohol making me feel sick.I looked around as everyone continued to dance and my head pounded,my vision blurring a little.

I shook my head and began to walk in the direction of the bar,my heels making a click-clack against the floor.The club was like an oven,and it was jam-packed with people.

“Excuse me..”I muttered as I squeezed myself through the crowd.

“Ay,Vanessa!”I heard someone yell,but it was too loud for me to see who.

Suddenly,the lights went out,and everything was dark.

“Oye,que paso?!”shouted someone in the crowd.My head spun as I heard people scream.Someone shoved me and I toppled over into the crowd.

“Blackout!Blackout!”yelled a man.”No shit,Sherlock.”I thought to myself.What had happened?

“Vino el apagon,ay díos..”shouted a woman melodically.

The whole club was frantic as people waved torchlights.I thought of Abuela Claudia in the apartment..she meant so much to the barrío,but was she alright?

“Usnavi?”I yelled at the top of my lungs through the din of everyones manic yelling.

I heard him faintly shout my name and shook my head.Too far away.He shouted my name again and I yelled back as I pushed through the crowd.

Thousands of pops sounded as someone set off fireworks.I looked up at them and smiled.At least there was lights…

Where the hell was Usnavi?Or anyone?

I caught a glimpse of him and rushed up,pent-up anger and frustration in my voice.He left me!In a hot club,full of randomers who just wanted to get with me for my body!

“Usnavi!”I yelled,frustration in my voice.

“Yeah,Vanessa!”he spun around and I walked towards him.

“You abandoned me!”I spat,justafiably upset.He had just left me there!

“Yo-What are you talking about?”he asked me as I began to walk away,my hair swaying in the cool night breeze.

“Usnavi,all night-you barely even danced with me!”I muttered as I stormed off,shoes clicking against the pavement.

He cut in front of me,looked me dead in the eye.

“Dont make me laugh!I’ve been trying all night!You’ve been shaking your ass for like half of the Heights!”he responds.

I shake my head.So he was exactly like all those other boys,who say shit like that.I’m an idiot for thinking any different.

“Real nice.”I shoot back,poison in my tone.

“You barely gave me a chance all evening!”he retorts.

“What?”I yell.He’s the one going off with that girl,and he pulls that shit!

“Do I get another dance?”he asks me hopefully.

“Im leaving.”I shoot back as I begin walking away.My hair blows in the wind and although I’m frustrated and upset,I have the power.

“Vanessa!”he calls after me,drawing out the E as I keep my eyes ahead.

“I gotta go!”I yelled,my voice staying steady.No matter how much I-If I-loved him,I wasnt going go crack.

“Dont walk away from us tonight.”he yells.Oh,really nice.Who is us?Its just me and him now,the world spinning as we argue.

“I dont need anything tonight.”I mutter,as I begin to walk back to him,up close and personal.

“I can find my way home.”I shoot at him,up in his face.I didnt care if I was being rude,but on the inside I was hurt,and he was too.

“Keep running away from home.”

“Without you!Without you!”

___________________________________________

On my furious walk home,my fingers cross a piece of pink ribbon.I pull more and more out and stuff it in my hand,brain flooded with ideas.

As I reach my apartment I sit down at my desk,my face and desk illuminated by my crappy phone torch.I furiously scribble designs upon designs,nimbly tie bows with my fingers and I smile to myself.Maybe this blackout and argument had its upside.

I tried to push Usnavi and all thoughts of him from my mind as I distracted myself with my work.

And I resent him until I hear the news.

And my heart breaks for him.

____________________________________________

Abuela Claudia’s heart gave out.

The barrío lights up candles,and we raise them to the sky as we sing.I walk alongside Benny,who’s heart breaks for Nina.

“Alabanza..Alabanza Abuela Claudia..”

We gather outside the door and as I look into Usnavi’s tear stained face I cannot feel angry.He stares out on everyone singing Claudia’s praise and shows no signs of happiness.Just pure pain.

We meet eyes for a minute and he looks away.My heart feels like a porcelain statue that has been dropped from the Empire State.He turns away and I shake my head.

We lower our torches and I give a silent prayer to Abuela Claudia.I pray that she went in peace,and that the De La Vega’s and Rosario’s are really,truly okay.

____________________________________________

Authors Note:Hi all!I hope yall liked this but Ive never really written fanfic before so I hope this is okay <3 I am rewatching ITH so thought I’d write a fic.Drop some requests-working on the Weeks Au fanfic rn :)

[captainlunaxmen]

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 2

Eddie munson x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: they have one mission: find Eddie.

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4, violence description.

"And then Vicki laughed. And it wasn't like a cheap, fake laugh either. It was like... it was a real genuine laugh." Robin tells us as Steve put some vhs on the shelfs and I hold some to help them. I don't work here, but I like to help instead of sitting at home doing nothing.

"Of course. It's my Muppet joke. It's hilarious" Steve says very proudly, and I roll my eyes.

"My point is that Vicki laughed and everything was just like...it was perfect" she keeps going with a dreamy voice.

She's so cute.

"But?" I ask, knowing something's up.

"But I'm having this problem where it's like, I should stop talking." She explains "I have said everything I need to say.but then I guess I get nervous and the words keep spilling out, and it's like my.. my brain is moving faster than my mouth, or rather my.. my mouth is moving faster than my brain. And it's like I'm digging this hole for myself, and I want to stop digging, I'm trying to stop, but I can't. And I'm doing it right now, aren't I?"

She finally turns around to look at us after her babbling.

"Yeah, you are" Steve says and I nod with a half smile.

She exhales deeply and move backwards to rest against the wall.

"I'm hopeless" she says.

Steve follows her against the wall. "We both are"

I roll my eyes at their pessimism.

"If only we could just, like, combine." Robin suddenly says, I look at her confused.

"Combine?" Steve's confused too.

"No. Think about it. I know exactly what I want, and I've found the girl of my dreams, but I can't get the courage to ask her out. Meanwhile, you go on, like, a million dates, and you have no idea what you want. So if we just combine, all our problems would be solved."

Steve lets out an understanding "Oohh"

"Because, I mean, alone let's face it..."

"We totally suck." Steve finishes for her.

"Totally and utterly"

"C'mon, you guys are the most amazing persons that I know... just have hope" I look at Steve "and some courage" I look at Robin "and everything will be fine"

"Oh yeah?" Steve sends me a very sceptical look.

"Ooh, I think I found our morning movie" Robin gasps, running to a shelf and grabbing a vhs. "Doctor Zhivago"

"Ugh, you know I don't do double vhs" Steve groans shaking his hands in the air.

"But it's about doomed love" she tries.

"That's relatable" Steve agrees, and we both follow Robing behind the counter.

"Exactly. Also Julie Christie is b-b-bonkers hot in this. Like seriously the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life" she turn the TV on.

"I gotta agree on that" I declare.

"We're in the Forest Hills trailer park on East Roane County." The reporter's voice says loud and clear "we don't have a lot of details now, but we can confirm that the body kd a Hawkins High student was discovered early this morning. Police have not released the name although we are told they're currently in the process of notifying the family"

Oh shit.. as if alternate dimensions creature's weren't enough.

"Holy shit" Steve whispers beside me.

"Who could that be?" I ask worried.

"I don't know.." Robin replies.

"Isn't it where Max lives?" I ask again looking at them.

They just nods.

Oh shit.

We spent the morning watching the news and organising the store to keep ourselves busy.

All of a sudden the door bell rings and Dustin and Max come in.

"Hey Steve" he says, he looks visibly agitated.

"You guys see this?" Steve asks them.

"How many phones do you have?" Dustin asks, completely ignoring Steve's question.

Robin and I share a confused look

"Someone was murdered"

"How many phones fo you have?" He repeats more firmly.

"Two. Why?" He answers

"Technically three if you count Keith's in the back" Robins specifies.

Max and Dustin look at each other.

"Yeah, thee works" Max says.

So Dustin take off his backpack as Steve asks "what are you doing?" And, again, ignoring his question Dustin throw the backpack on the other side of the counter and climbs on top of it to get through.

All this while earning very annoyed reactions from both Robin and Steve.

Ignoring both of them Dustin positions himself in fron of the computer.

"What are you doing?" Steve asks.

"Setting up base of operation here." He simply answers.

"Base of operation?" I ask. "Why?"

Steve tries to get Dustin off of the computer, but with no use.

"What do you need it for? Dustin?" I ask, getting more and more confused.

"Eddie's friends' phone numbers" he answers and I look at Steve.

"Oh Eddie, your new best friend who just is cooler because he plays your nerdy game?" Steve asks, sounding quite jealous, I gotta say.

"I never said that" Dustin defends himself from Steve's accusatory tone.

"Seriously, you guys, maybe know a Monday you can play around like toddlers, but it's Saturday. It's our busiest day" Robin tells them, putting the tapes back on the counter.

"Robin, look, I empathise, but this cannot wait until Monday" Dustin firmly says.

"Calling Eddie's friends is an emergency?" She asks back.

"Correct" Dustin shouts, like that was the most obvious thing.

"Why? What happened?" I ask, now getting more worried. "Did something happen to Eddie?... Dustin?"

"Can you just fill them in while I do this?" Dustin asks Max.

"Fill us in on what?" Robin is definitely annoyed.

We all look at Max waiting for her to explain what happened.

We found ourselves calling so many different numbers, trying to find a lead to where Eddie might've gone.

I type down the numbers while Robin, Max and Dustin call them, and Steve flirts with every girls he can, pretending he's just working.

"Hey, guys. I might have a lead" Max calls pur attention.

"Seriously?" Dustin turns to her, hopefully.

"Yeah, apparently, Eddie gets his drugs from come guy names Reefer Rick, and sometimes Eddie crashes there." She explains.

"That's promising" I comment.

"Where does this Reefer Rick live?" Robin asks.

"See that's the thing. No one knows. He's more of a.. a legend than someone that people actually know." Max explains.

"And.. what about a last name?" I ask.

"I don't know that either" She answers.

"Less promising" I shake my head.

"Bet the cops knows the last name" Steve intervenes.

We turn all to him.

"What?"

"Cops. I mean listen if this Reefer Rick is actually a drug dealer, I guarantee you he's been busted at some point. Means he's in the system" he explains like he found the perfect solution to all our problems.

"The cops? Really, Steve? That's your suggestion?" Dustin asks incredulous.

"I mean, I just think they should be filled on on what we know, what's going on" he says simply.

"You think Eddie's guilty, don't you?" Dustin accuses.

"Whoa. I believe in innocent until proven guilty, all that constitutional shit." Steve defends himself " I just, you know, don't think that we can rule it out"

"That's precisely what we're trying to do here, Steve." Max says annoyed.

"And maybe we'd have a little bit more luck if you spent less time trying to find a girlfriend and more time trying to find Eddie"

"He' not wrong here, Stevie" I agree with Dustin.

"Oh well somebody has to attend to the customers" Steve says, again, to defend himself, and I roll my eyes scoffing.

"Especially if they're babes, right?" Robin teases with a wink.

"Hey, not fair, okay?" Steve points his finger st her "I attend to all customers equally, babes and non-babes alike. We've got a very big selection in here. It can be super overwhelming for people"

"Yeah it can be" Robin says, I can tell she thought something to actually help us so I quickly follow her to the computer.

"What are you doing?" Max asks.

"Maybe we don't need a last name" she answers.

She type on the keyboard, Rick's name and a list of Ricks appears on the screen.

"Twelve Ricks have accounts here" she tells us.

"That's a lots of Ricks" Max comments.

"You're a genius, Robin" I tell her.

"I know. Now, let's narrow it down, uh? Rick Alderman's latest rentals are Annie and Dumbo...what are the chances our drug dealer has a family?" She asks.

"Not likely"

"All right, Rick Conroy. Sixteen candles, Teen Wolf, Romancing the stone." She move to the next Rick.

"No"

"Okay, Rick Joiner, Mask, Footloose, and Grease"

"Nah"

"Rick Kimbrough. The Blue Lagoon, and Splash."

"Definitely no"

"Okay. Rick Lipton. Fast Times at Ridgermont High, Cheech & Chong's next movie. Cheech & Chong's nice dreams. Cheech & Chong' up in smoke."

"Bingo" Dustin chuckles.

"Lipton?"

"Spelled like the tea. 2131 Holland Road" Robin reads.

"That's out by Lovers Lake" Dustin says.

"Middle of nowhere" I comment.

"It's a perfect place to hide" Robin agrees.

That being said we all head out to Steve's car and to this Reefer Rick's house.

And hopefully to Eddie.

We all grab a torch each and get out of the car to walk to this Reefer Rick's house.

The lights are out, which could mean that no one's home or... Eddie's hiding.

Dustin repeatedly tries to ring the bell, but to no use.

"Okay. Well, that's settled. I guess he's not here." Steve says, trying to make Dustin stop.

But Dustin just start to shout for Eddie to come out and tries again with the door bell.

Me and Max move to the side of the house with our torch, seeing what looks like a boathouse. Maybe Eddie's in there.

"Hey guys!" Max calls.

"Well let's go" I say already walking towards the small building.

Robin is the first one to enter.

"Hello? Is anyone home?" She tries.

We all enter and start to look around.

"What a dump" Steve comments

The place is far from clean, there garbage everywhere and, as expected, a boat in the middle filled with something covered by a tarp.

I spot Steve grabbing an oar as a weapon and starts to poke the boat multiple times.

"What are you doing?" Dustin asks.

Steve just doesn't answer so Dustin repeats the question, more shocked.

"He might be in here." Steve simply replies.

"So take the tarp off." Dustin tells him.

"If you're so brave, you take the tarp off" he basically challenges.

"Stop bickering, you two." I say.

Steve just keeps hitting on top of the tarp covered boat.

"Hey, look over here" Max tells us. She points our attention to some food envelopes.

"Someone was here." I try.

"Maybe he heard us. Got spooked and ran" Robin suggests.

"Don't worry. Steve will get him with his oar" Dustin says sarcastically.

"Oh I know you think you're being funny, Henderson, but considering everyone in this room has nearly died about a hundred times, personally, I don't find it funny in the slight-"

Steve is cut off by a loud scream and Eddie jumping from under the tarp and pushing him against the wall, a broken bottle in his hand.

We all gather as close as possible, trying to not scare him further for Eddie to react too badly.

"Whoa whoa whoa Eddie! Eddie! Stop!" Dustin says, holding his arms out to stop us from getting further closer.

Eddie turns to look at Dustin, not moving the broken glass away from Steve's neck yet.

"It's me. It's Dustin" Dustin tries to stay calm while getting Eddie's attention. "This is Steve. He's not going to hurt you, right, Steve?"

"Right, yeah" Steve agrees, quite agitated.

"Steve, c'mon.. drop the oar, will you?" I say, as calmly as possible.

Steve does as I say, dropping the oar away, but that just startles Eddie more pointing the glass back at Steve's neck.

"He's cool, he's cool" Dustin says.

"What are you doing here?" Eddie says, voice breaking.

"We're looking for you" Dustin replies

"We're here to help, Eddie" I add.

Eddie turns his head again to us, listening carefully.

"Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band. This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&D. You know Y/n too. The quiet girl you always stare at, at lunch. Eddie. We're on your side. I swear on my mother. Right guys?"

"Yeah yeah we swear"

"Yeah on Dustin's mother"

"Yeah, Dustin's.. mother"

We say no more, tense as never before, but at the end Eddie lets Steve go and moves to the side sitting down.

Steve just come to us, I check his neck in case the broken bottle accidentally cut him but he's fine.

I turn to look at Eddie, Dustin kneels in front of him and I slowly follow.

He looks... terrified.

"Eddie...we just want to talk" Dustin very slowly tries to grab the bottle in Eddie's hand, but as soon as he gets to close he flinches grabbing the glass harder.

"Eddie... we just wanna know what happened. " I tell him.

"You won't believe me" he tells us.

"Try us" Max says.

Eddie told us everything that happened, about Chrissy coming to him to buy drugs, and how she died, right in front of him.

"Her body just lifted up into the air and.. and she just like, hung there. In the air. And her bones.. she.. her bones starter to snap"

He struggling to tell us what happened, all I want to do is grabbing his hand and reassure him...

"Her eyes, man" he continues "it was like.. there was something, inside her head, pulling. I.. I didn't know what to do so.. I.. I ran away. I left her there." He sounds so ashamed... he couldn't do anything for her.

Poor girl, she was really one of the sweetest person in Hawkins.

Fuck.

Eddie looks up to us, only to turn his head away quickly, scoffing.

"You all think I'm crazy right?"

"No. We don't think you're crazy" Dustin tries to reassure him.

"Don't bullshit me, man! I know how this sounds" Eddie snaps.

"We're not bullshiting you" Max intervenes.

"We believe you" Robin says and Eddie just scoffs, still not believing us.

"Look, what I'm about to tell you might be a little.. difficult to take." Dustin starts "you know how people say Hawkins is...cursed? They're not way off. There's another world.a words hidden beneath Hawkins. Sometimes it bleeds into ours." Dustin explains.

"Like ghosts and shit?" Eddie asks.

"There are... there are some things worst than ghosts" I tell him.

"These monsters from this other world, we thought they were gone. But they've come back before. That's why we needed to find you."

"If they're back again, we need to know" Max says.

"That night, did you see anything?" Robin asks.

"Dark particles, maybe"

Eddie just shakes his head no.

"It would almost look like dust, swirling dust." Dustin specifies.

"No, man, there was nothing you could see or.. touch" Eddie explains.

I look at Steve who, now, looks more worried than before, full attention on Eddie.

"You know, I tried to wake her, man. She couldn't move. It was like she.. she was in a trance or something." Eddie explains and we all listen carefully.

"Or under a spell" Dustin points out.

"A curse."

"Vecna's curse" Dustin realises.

"Who's Vecna?" Steve asks

"And undead creature of great power" Dustin answers.

"A spell caster" I say, earning a confused look from Steve.

"A dark Wizard" Dustin finishes.

This might be worse than all the ones before...

Fuck.

We decided we have to go and get some food for Eddie.

"We'll be right back, man, I promise" Dustin says.

As we all walk to the door.

Steve and Dustin turn to me stopping me in my tracks.

"Why don't you... uh... stay here and keep him company?" Dustin asks.

"What? Why me?" Now I'm confused.

"Because you're the sweetest and he clearly has a thing for you" Steve replies as the most simple thing ever.

"He does not" I tell him sternly.

"Either way you're the best choice. You're calmer and... easier to be around than the rest of us" Steve convinces me.

"Y/n, trust me. He needs someone like you now. Please, I don't think he should be alone now" Dustin says looking me in the eyes.

"Fine" I tell him nodding "yeah, I'll stay with him. But you better stay out of trouble"

"As always" Steve shrugs.

I give him a warning look and just sigh. Watching them driving away.

I get back to the boathouse and see Eddie's figure watching nothing on the boat.

"Hey" I say quietly.

He seems to snap out of trance and looks at me surprised.

"I thought you all went" he says, with a small smile.

"Yeah well... we didn't.. uh... Dustin didn't want you to be alone right now" I tell him, fidgeting with my rings again.

"Thanks.. I guess he's right" he says.

I nod, walking a bit closer, but not too much.

"So..." he starts.

"So..." I mimic him, earning a laugh from him.

"You knew about the spell caster" he implies.

"Yeah... a-and?"

"You know about D&D..?" He asks.

"Yeah.." I say nervously.

"No way!" He whisper shouts.

"It's true!" I tell him, with a small chuckle.

"How come didn't you join Hellfire?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"I.. well.. I just..." I stutter.

"Hey.. I'm not judging, m'lady" he assures me, with a smile.

"I'm just too shy, I think.. also I'm not very good at playing" I laugh quietly.

"I could've taught you" he says.

"I... I'm not very good with people" I honestly tell him.

"What do you mean?"

"I.. I'm not very good at talking to people, I get nervous and stutter the whole time. And just... I just shut up so I don't bother anyone" I explain.

"You're not stuttering with me" he shrugs.

"I.." I stops realising it's true.

With him it feels easier, somehow..

"No need to worry about a freak's opinion, i guess." he lower his eyes, almost disappointed.

"No! Not at all!" I quickly say.

He look at me, searching my eyes to see if I'm messing with him.

"I... listen, I don't understand why people always call you that, but I personally always saw you as someone... cool" I say, getting shy as I finish my sentence.

"Really?" He says, he tries to hold back a smile, but he fails.

"Yeah.." I look away from him. "You always walk around like you don't care about anything. You have your ideas and you're not ashamed, and of course you shouldn't be ashamed of them. You're like smarter than any of those dickheads from the basketball team"

"Wow" he blushes... he blushes?

Did I make Eddie Munson blush?

"Are you blushing, my lord?" I gather some courage and make a joke.

"Oh... 'my lord' uh?" He looks at me with a smirk, that makes me instantly lower my eyes with my cheeks warming up.

"I.. yeah.. I mean, you keep calling me-"

"M'lady? Yeah, so I'd say 'my lord' fits perfectly" he sweetly smiles at me.

We stay silent for a while.

It's a comfortable silence, the kind you don't have to talk to fill it. We just need each other company to be okay.

I watch him fidgeting with his own hands.

He's getting nervous.

Instinctively I reach out for his hands and he turns to me, surprised, but he doesn't retreat his hands.

"It's gonna be okay" I tell him. "I know it sounds like a shitty cliché.. trust me I know." I let out a small chuckle "we've been through this shit a few times.. the point is, we're with you on this. We're gonna solve this."

He holds my hands in his.

"I want to believe you" he says looking me in the eyes.

"Good" I say.

He starts to stroke my knuckles gently.

"I'm glad you're the one to stay here, m'lady" he says.

"Apparently I'm the easiest to be around" I tell him with a shrug.

He's still not letting go my hands.

"Maybe... but that's not the only reason, but yeah" he says, a playful smile on his face.

"Then... w-why?" I say, feeling my cheeks warming up again.

"Well.. that's an answer for another time, uh?" He winks and I'm just speechless.

All of a sudden we hear noises from outside.

I grab the oar Steve used earlier and move to the door.

"Stay there" I tell Eddie.

I get closer and closer to the door, that suddenly opens reveling Robin, Dustin, Max and Steve holding some bags full of food and drinks.

"Fuck sake!" I exclaim as they enter with apologetic looks.

"delivery service" Dustin announces.

I look at Eddie who look just as startled, heavy breathing and all that.

I just exhale deeply and grab one of the bags they carried inside.

[writtenjewels]

Wrong Number part 3

Part One, Part Two

Salim was thrilled when Jason came over to talk to him over breakfast. Salim had noticed him immediately, of course, but it seemed awkward to bother him when he already disturbed the younger man yesterday with the room mix-up. But then they started talking and, without even thinking, Salim invited Jason to sit with him.

Now here he was about to knock on Jason's door again so they could go ride the London Eye together. This time when Jason answered the door, he was wearing a dark blue shirt and blue jeans. His brown hair was still wet from his shower.

“We gotta stop meetin' like this,” Jason quipped.

“And how would you suggest we meet instead?” Salim retorted.

“By goin' to the lobby?” Jason shrugged, though he was smiling. Salim returned the gesture. It was surprisingly easy to banter with this man. “So the Eye takes about half an hour for the trip,” Jason mentioned. “Hope you got a camera 'cause the view's gonna be fuckin' amazing.”

“I do have a camera,” Salim assured him. He bought one with the express purpose of taking lots of pictures while he was visiting London. He and Jason started walking together down the street. “Thank you for letting me tag along,” Salim spoke up.

“No big deal.” A comfortable silence fell between them. As they strolled down the pavement, Salim let his eyes travel to take in his surroundings. Even at this time of day the streets were filled with cars and he and Jason weren't alone walking the pavement. He stayed close so he wouldn't lose his companion in the crowd. Jason turned to catch his eye. “I hear you thinkin',” the younger man announced.

“London is so different from my home,” Salim sighed.

“Small-town boy?” Jason guessed. Salim nodded, a little surprised that Jason could tell. Jason revealed how by adding, “Me too. I tell you, first time I was in a big city was a pretty fuckin' big culture shock.”

“I wouldn't phrase it quite that poetically, but yes. It is a shock.” Jason let out a soft snort. “What's funny?” Salim wondered.

“You callin' my language 'poetic'.”

In time they reached the Eye. Salim pulled out his wallet but Jason waved him off, getting out his own cash instead. For some reason the gesture made Salim's face feel hot. It was a silly reaction. Jason was just being friendly. They climbed into the pod with the other visitors and found seats. Once everyone was settled, the pod began to rise.

It really was an impressive view of the city. Salim took plenty of pictures as they slowly ascended above the rooftops. He couldn't resist nudging Jason and pointing out the many historical buildings that dotted the landscape. After doing this a few times, he discovered Jason's gaze lingering on him. Salim felt an unexpected flutter of nerves.

Between the initial attraction, their flirting this morning, and the banter a few minutes ago, it was undeniable that there was a spark between them. It seemed incredible that a number written down by accident would lead to this.

“Hey.” Jason nudged him. “We reached the top.” He leaned over a little to take in the view. It brought the two of them much closer to each other. Salim was now the one letting his gaze linger, and he noticed that Jason had freckles. “I hear you thinkin' again,” Jason mentioned, meeting Salim's eyes.

“I...” Salim hesitated, trying to articulate his thoughts. But how could he address this attraction between them with twenty other people in the pod? They were all engaged in their own conversations, but still. “I was wondering what to do next,” he said, going for a vague sort of truth.

“It's a big city,” Jason agreed. “Lots to see and do. Tons of historical shit that you'll probably love.”

“Oh?” That took Salim by surprise. “Why do you think so?”

“You were nerdin' out the whole ride up,” Jason told him. His tone was light and teasing but there was a soft fondness in his eyes. He liked that Salim was excited about the historical buildings.

“What would make you 'nerd out', Jason?” Salim wondered. He found himself leaning even closer to the other man. “What are you most excited to see in this city?”

“Well... I hear there's a memorial to William Wallace,” Jason mentioned. “I wouldn't mind seein' that.” His expression was hesitant as he looked at Salim. “Salim,” he started, but then their pod came to a halt. The ride was over and everyone was shuffling to get off.

Salim's heart was pounding. He couldn't recall the last time he felt this way. He was forty years old, divorced, father of a teenage boy, and Salim was pretty sure he was developing an insanely huge crush on an American he met only a few hours ago.

[the-demon-of-a-thousand-eyes]

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒟𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝒶 𝒯𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐸𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 18

Perpetuating the Pit and Spending Time with Lens

Pairing: Alastor x F!OC (Theia, The Demon of a Thousand Eyes)

Chapter Summary: You relay your story to Angel, Husk, and Sir Pentious about what you, Niffty, and Charlie found earlier. Then you take a look at Sir Pentious' laboratory, and eat lunch with Angel. He tells you about Fat Nuggets, and who you insist upon meeting.

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Cannibalism, TW for DISCUSSIONS of: abuse, anorexia, Valentino being Valentino, threats to the life of Angel Dust and Fat Nuggets

Please be warned this chapter does touch on some tough subjects but we are talking about Angel here. He's got some shit he's gotta work through, and Theia is determined to be there for him through all of it.

Soon enough you’re relaying the entirety of the story a second time.

“Wait, so Niffty lives in a hole in the wall?” Angel laughs. “Of course she would.”

Sir Pentious looks alarmed. “Surely there are plenty of rooms in this establishment in which you could reside?”

Husk stays oddly silent. You raise one of the seven eyebrows on your face. “You knew.”

He shrugs. “Of course I knew. It’s Niff. She and I have known each other for years.”

You chuckle. He would.

“I like it! It’s called Hidey Hole!” Niffty supplies from where she’s still perched on your shoulder. “And next to it is a secret room that maybe even the baddest of boys hasn’t discovered!”

“Who is this ‘baddest of boys’ that the lady is mentioning?” Sir Pentious asks, puzzled.

Husk raises an eyebrow, surprised. “Niff, are you saying there’s a room in this hotel that maybe not even Lucifer knows about?”

Angel laughs again. “Didn’t he build this dump?”

“I don’t think so, not after looking at the blueprints, anyway. This building doesn’t make sense. Did you know that there’s a ballroom on the fourth floor and a swimming pool on the fifth, directly above it? Whoever designed this place had never made a thing in his life. A fallen archangel like Lucifer would have witnessed the dawn of creation itself. Surely he’d be better at architecture than this.” You chuckle. “So Niffty has been in this secret room before.”

“Uh, way tah bury the lead.” Angel rolls his eyes. “So, what’s in there, Niff?”

Niffty shrugs. “No idea.”

“I thought you said you’d been in there before!” Angel cries out, irritated. “So which is it!”

“Both.” Niffty replies. “I thought it was a boring closet. Why would I care about...” She looks at you and smirks. “Boring closet stuff?”

“Boring closet stuff?” Angel echoes, falling into her trap.

“Boring closet stuff.” You echo, mischievously.

“Boring closet stuff?” Sir Pentious asks, confused.

“Boring closet stuff.” Niffty cackles.

“Boring closet stuff?” Husk echoes too, and you sigh.

“You know, Vaggie was right. Hearing that phrase over and over really is annoying.”

Angel raises an eyebrow. “What, is that a call-back joke?”

“Is this just a bit to you?” Husk grunts as he puts the glass away he was just cleaning.

“If it is a joke, I am not privy as to why!” Sir Pentious declares, irritated.

You sigh. “Look, I’m going to have to tell this joke—I mean story, sorry—to Al to make it a third time, so can we please just move on from here?”

Niffty just giggles and says, “Boring closet stuff.” Again, much to everyone’s utter annoyance, admittedly including your own, even as you giggle. It’s still a little funny, okay?

“Fine, so, speakin’ o’ Smiles,” Angel cuts in, “Where is he and why don’t we go see this secret room fo’ ourselves right now?”

“Well first of all, none of us besides Niffty can get to it unless you can basically discorporate and incorporate yourself at will. It’s trapped behind the vents by itself. Niffty is tiny enough to fit back there as she is.” You shrug. “As for Al, we’ll need him anyway as Niffty made a promise to Charlie that she wouldn’t go back in without asking for his help first. His location…hell if I know. Probably hunting down some idiot who owes him something or another.”

Husk raises an eyebrow again. “I’m surprised he didn’t take me with him. Not that I’m not thrilled to not be included this go around.”

You shrug. “He’s hunting down someone for me to kill in front of him.”

Angel laughs uproariously. “Is this ‘nother one of you twos weird-ass matin’ rituals?”

You roll all of your eyes. “Of course not, Angel. He bought me this stunning knife,” You gesture to it at your hip, “and I promised him when he bought it for me that I’d tear apart its first victim in front of him.” You flush and your eyes flash red, eager for the kill again.

“Uh-huh, sure ‘cause that ain’t part of some weird-ass game you twos are playin’.” He smirks knowingly.

You swallow, and turn to Sir Pentious, desperate to change the subject. “So, Sir Pentious, any new inventions view’ve been working on lately, by glance?”

Sir Pentious, sweet, unassuming serpent that he is, happily provides for which you were hoping. “I am working on a few mind-boggling contraptions that may interest you! Would you like to see my laboratory?”

“I’d be delighted to see what you’re in the process of building! Lead the way.” You gesture towards the stairs.

Niffty pipes up from your shoulder, “I have some cleaning to do, Theia, so I should get going!” She gives you a hug and you hug her back. “Before you go, Niff, you’re not making coffee for me every morning because Al told you to, right?” You ask with a raised eyebrow. “I appreciate the coffee, but I want to make sure you’re not being forced to do it.” Niffty shakes her head vehemently. “Of course not. I like helping!” She declares, then says, “I’ll see you later!” She then scurries off to wherever she decided needs cleaning in particular.

You throw a smirk over your shoulder at Angel, who rolls his eyes but then raises an eyebrow pointedly. It was apparent to him that this conversation was long from over. You wave at both him and Husk as Sir Pentious leads you down the hallway. You expect him to lead you upstairs, but instead, he takes you out back of the hotel, where his crashed airship is sitting. The sides still have holes in them but you can see a few egg bois you hadn’t seen earlier working on repairs. “How many egg bois do you have, Sir Pentious?”

“It’s hard to keep track but it’s usually just over a hundred.” He replies easily as he leads you in through the door, offering his hand to help you inside.

You don’t need his help but you appreciate his kind offering, so you take his hand anyway, stepping into the war vehicle. It looks as you’d imagined for the most part. A large open space with a set of controls near the front and a large wheel to control it in the center. In the back, you see what he must have been referring to earlier—his laboratory.

“Over here we have a few projects of mine that are still in progress,” He gestures as you follow him into the back room. As you try to catch a glimpse of them, he says, “Ah, no peeking, though, they’re a surprise!” He leads you over to a tall object draped in a cloth. “Over here, we have my latest project, the Skin Flayer 11,000!” He declares as he whips the sheet off to reveal a large wheeled contraption with what appears to be a sort of canon on the front end.

“That’s quite the weapon you’ve built.” You decide as you inspect it. Looking into the top half, you notice that the inside isn’t finished. It’s hollow, as if it’s missing some pieces. “So when do the rest of the parts go in?”

“I see you’ve noticed that it’s not quite ready yet.” He looks a little embarrassed. “I’m expecting a delivery from Carmine industries. I hope it will arrive tomorrow.”

“Ooh, stepping it up with a little angelic steel as materials? Nice, nice. I love her work, personally. Good choice.”

“I’m hoping to have it ready to show off to Princess Morningstar tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll be pleased.” He boasts proudly.

“I didn’t think Charlie was into weaponry.” You raise an eyebrow.

“She isn’t, but she has taken an interest in me and this is what I am good at, building machines and ordering minions around.” He explains, as if it made perfect sense. “You have taken an interest in my work, however, so I figured you might like to see it, even if it’s not complete.”

“Of course, Pen. I like seeing you in your element like this, and while those who run this establishment might not necessarily see weapons as an ideal component of life here, I think it’s important to be on our guard. The exterminations are coming up again soon and we may as well be innovative! Who knows what kind of strides in weaponry you might make. You might even find out what could kill an exorcist!” He laughs, albeit a little sad. “If only.” He gives you a small smile. “You have been incredibly kind to me, Theia.” He narrows his eyes. “Too kind. Have I made a mistake allowing you in my space? Are you here to sabotage me?!” He looks around alarmed, petrified of the choice he’s made.

You shrug. “Of course not, not that I’d tell you outright if I were. Listen Pen, I like you, but you gotta relax, let your guard down. I’m gonna go now. You take some deep breaths, okay?”

He doesn’t say anything as you walk out of his laboratory, out of his airship, and back into the hotel. As you pass a clock on the wall, you notice the time.

It’s nearly one o’clock, and you’re starting to feel a little peckish. Some eyeballs might be in order. You think to yourself as you ascend the always-too-long journey to your suite.

When you arrive at your door, you unlock it and enter your kitchen. Placing your key on the counter, you walk to the fridge and consider your options.

In addition to eyeballs in many forms, you find a jar of unopened mayonnaise in the door. Perfect. You think to yourself. Did someone go shopping in my absence? I don’t remember seeing this earlier. You shrug. Maybe Niffty put it there, or maybe it was always there and I never noticed?

You get out a bowl and a fork. Opening up the cabinets, you’re surprised to also find a loaf of bread, as well as a few other non-refrigerated essentials. You smile. Okay surely someone has done some shopping for me.

You take the loaf of bread down from the shelf and take out two slices, toast them in the toaster you find in another cabinet, get out two green eyeballs, and add the mayo. Mixing them together, you add salt, pepper, and some of the thyme. Finally, you add the eyes salad to the toast, and putting away the mayo and rinsing your bowl and fork in the sink, you take a knife from the knife block to cut it in half, rinse it clean then return it to the block. Looking into the fridge, you find a jug of water. You pour yourself a glass and drop a pair of blue eyes inside.

Humming a tune you hadn’t heard in years and had nearly forgotten the words for, you take your plate and glass, debate on eating at the breakfast bar, but decide that you’d much rather eat downstairs. You set your plate down to grab your key and stick it in your non-subspace pocket, then pick up your plate again and walk through and close your door. Juggling your plate and glass in one hand, you somehow manage to keep the food and the water from spilling as you reach into your pocket and lock the door with the key, then return it to your pocket once more. Finally, you shift the plate back to your now free hand before you make the rather long descent down the stairs.

When you reach the lobby, you find that while there is no one nearby, but you hear noises coming from the kitchen. You decide to make your way to the dining room and take a seat at the empty table.

You choose a spot in the middle, far away from either end, set your plate and glass down, then take a seat. You grab one half of the sandwich and take a bite. Just as you close your eyes to enjoy the taste of the delicious sandwich you’ve made, you hear footsteps. As you open them again, you see Angel stride through the doorway and into the room. His plate is filled with a small salad, mostly leafy greens and a few radishes and carrots. There doesn’t appear to be any dressing on top of it. You chew and swallow then take a drink of your water before you say, “Hey, Angel.”

His face, which was looking a little contorted with what you hoped wasn’t irritation at Tino but probably was, upturned brightly at seeing you. “Hey, Occhi. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

You shrug. “Didn’t feel like eating lunch up in my suite. It’s better now that you’re here. It’s always better to eat with a friend than eating alone.”

“We’re friends?” Angel asks as he takes a seat at the table across from you on the other side.

“Well I’d like us to be, if we’re not already.” You say as you take another bite.

As you chew and swallow, he replies, “Besides Cherri and Fat Nuggets I don’t have many friends.” He picks up his fork and stabs at a bit of lettuce, puts it into his mouth and starts to chew.

“Cherri? Like Cherri Bomb, right? I think I’ve heard of her. I don’t think we’ve ever met, though. I know I’ve never heard of Fat Nuggets, however.” You reply after you take a drink of your water.

Angel chuckles. “Oh, you’d remember ‘er if you’d met ‘er. She’s a spitfire, bombs an’ the like. You’d like her, I think.” He stabs another bit of lettuce. Before he takes his next bite, he says, “Fat Nuggets is my pet pig.”

You have to choke back a screaming squeal. You love pets. You’ve tried not to get all excited about Vox’s sharks before because you have an image to maintain, but you wanna go make them all love you so badly, and they’re natural predators. A pig on the other hand might be a far less dangerous candidate, not that you couldn’t easily hold your own against a shark (or even several). The noise you make is still startlingly loud as you are so excited. You nearly knock over your water glass. “You have a pet pig? Lucifer’s left nut, that sounds adorable!”

“You wanna meet ‘im?” Angel asks after he chews and swallows another few bites, laughing at your choice of exclamation.

“Do I?!” You say excitedly as you polish off the first half of your sandwich. “Of fucking course I do! I love pets!”

He continues to laugh as he takes another bite. “We’ll go see him after lunch. It’s right about his feeding time anyway so he’ll be extra cuddly.”

You pick up the other half of your sandwich and take a bite, then sip your water. “He sounds adorable.” You smile with earnest interest.

“He’s the most precious thing in the world to me.” He says. The smile is genuine, but for some reason it’s a little sad.

Tino gave him that pig, didn’t he. You think to yourself as you take a bite and barely succeed in preventing your face from showing that you know that to be the case. “It’s always nice to have a pet. I’ve been thinking about getting one but you know, nothing really matches the motif.” You gesture to yourself with a half a laugh.

“I mean a pig don’t hardly go with a spider.” Angel quirks an eyebrow at you as he stabs another hunk of lettuce.

“Sure it does. Charlotte’s web, just in reverse a little kinda? It’s a stretch but I’m counting it.” You laugh. “Sad story, actually. Terrible ending, honestly. Good book, tragic though. Point is, without getting into the sad bits, the spider really cares for that pig, tries to help it out as best she can. So yeah, a pig and a spider do go together. This story will end a little happier for both though, if I have anything to say about it.” You take a drink, chew and swallow one of the eyeballs.

Silence falls between you for a moment besides the sounds of chewing and swallowing. Angel is thinking. Eventually, he speaks. “You really do wanna to be my friend, don’t yah?” It’s quiet, surprised, and definitely confused. It hurts you the way his voice cracks as he says it.

“Yeah, Angel, I do.” You reply not much louder. “Of course I do.” You say after you finish the rest of your sandwich.

He chews and swallows, finishing his plate before he finally asks, “Why?”

“Are you seriously asking me why I want to be your friend?” You feel yourself tearing up. This poor, broken man. You take a breath and prevent the tears from falling, regaining your composure. He only nods. You continue, “I want to be your friend because I like you. The real you, not some mask you put up while others are around. You’re funny, and you’re smart. You’re apparently a good cook, so I’m not sure why you’re eating a salad of all things, but I’ll leave that one alone for now.” You take a sip of your water. “You’re ambitious, you’re clever, and I bet you can handle yourself in a fight even though I’ve never seen it. You wouldn’t have made it this long in Hell without knowing a few tricks.”

“You’ve got no idea, Occhi.” He smirks, then sighs. “I ain’t 'xactly friend material.”

“I disagree.” You say as you take another sip. “You’ve all the makings of a friend, if you’ll let me be one. I know it’s hard, that you’ve been surviving in a cutthroat industry that you have no choice to work in, that you’ve been treated like shit for years on end because of what that bastard did to you after he convinced you to sign your soul away. You’re strong, Angel; even when you’re weak, you’re strong. As hard as it is for you to believe it, I’m not here with any ulterior motive when I tell you that I want to be your friend.” You let out a light chuckle. “You remind me of my uncle, actually. I think you’d get along with him very well.” You chew and swallow the last eyeball in your glass.

“Now, uncle, that I can do.” Angel laughs with a wink. “I used tah be dah cool uncle mahself.”

“I mean you can be that too, if you’d like, but you can be both. If you need someone to talk to about your bullshit with Tino, I’m here, and no one can compel me to spill what you deem worthy for me to know. I’m here if you want to do stupid shit like gossip about men or do our hair. I’m here if you wanna be serious and talk about the important stuff. You know. Like a friend.” You polish off the rest of your water.

Angel gives you a weak smile. “Alright, fine, Occhi. I’m your friend.” He rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling.

You smile wider. “Good. Now that that’s settled, I wanna meet Fat Nuggets.”

He laughs. “I’m sure he’d love to meet you too.”

You stand, and you hear Niffty call out, “Leave your plates I’ll come get them in a minute!”

You call back, “Thanks, Niff, you’re a real sweetheart!”

Angel stands too, then, and the two of you head out into the lobby and then down the hallway. Angel’s room is not much farther. He unlocks and opens his door. A little pink blob comes barreling towards him at break-neck speed and Angel laughs as he wraps the four arms he has out around it. “This,” He says as he holds up the pig in his arms to you, “is Fat Nuggets. Say hello, Nuggs.”

Fat Nuggets oinks in response. You squeal, softer this time. “Hi, Fat Nuggets!” You say excitedly. “You’re so fucking cute!” You look up at Angel. “Can I hold him?”

“Yeah, sure, jus', uh, be careful, he might try tah nibble on yah dress.” He holds him out to you, and you take him carefully into your arms. “I’m gonna go get his kibble. You can um,” He takes a look around and as he steps inside the room itself, you realize how messy it is. It’s clear that not only does Niffty not clean in here, Angel doesn’t either. “Sorry ‘bout dah mess.” He scratches the back of his neck with one of his many arms. “Ain’t got visitors, usually. You can just, uh, sit on dah bed with Nuggs if you wanna.”

You cross the room to the bed, avoiding all the random things littered about. Angel’s room is about the size of the one you used to have before Al moved you into a suite, but Angel’s is differently decorated. He has a string light spiderweb put up above his bed, and it's covered in lots of pillows. The walls, you note, are covered in pictures of himself and Fat Nuggets, and himself and who you recognize is the aforementioned Cherri Bomb, as well as a few posters from some of his live performances. Plenty of eyes for you to look through, should you need to check in on him. You sit down on the bed, and set Fat Nuggets down next to you. You pet his head. “What a cute, sweet little piggy you are, aren’t you.” You coo to him. “Somebody makes his daddy very happy, doesn’t he? I don’t care if that bastard Tino did get you as a gift to him to use as a manipulative tool. I’ll tear that fucker apart and eat his eyes if he ever tries anything, especially if it has to do with you.”

Angel is standing in the doorway and the kibble spills out of the bowl and onto the floor as he hears your words. Nuggs jumps down from the bed and starts to nosh on the kibble on the floor, then moves to the bowl as Angel sets it down.

You don’t have to turn to look at him but do anyway. “You want some help cleaning that up?”

“Nah, Nuggs’ll eat it jus’ fine.” He says with a shrug. “He’s allowed to gain a few pounds.”

You narrow your eyes on your neck when you hear this. The words ring in your ears. He’s allowed to gain a few pounds. It hits you like a train wreck what that means, and you don’t dare share the realization out loud. Angel has anorexia. Tino fucking gave him anorexia, on top of all the other fucking bullshit he’s done to abuse this poor, broken man. He’s lucky I don’t go to Vee Tower and rip him limb from limb, tear out his eyes, eat them, and leave him to bleed out on Vox’s console. You swallow back any words you have, all your bitter and vengeful animosity. You have to choose your words carefully. “He doesn’t let you eat, does he.” It’s not a question, and you don’t expect an answer. “I’d tell you that I’m sorry but I know it wouldn’t make a difference.”

He sits down beside you and leans back on his middle arms, his upper arms rest behind his head. You lay back on the bed, and look up at the ceiling with your main eye even as the ones on the side that’s next to Angel look at him. He lets out a small sigh. “Knowin’ you feel the sentiment is bettah than hearin’ it. Not that it changes nothin’.”

Fat Nuggets finishes his food and comes to curl up between the two of you on the bed. He rolls onto his side to cradle Nuggs, and you roll onto yours to face them both. “You know, even though I can’t change anything, I can still be your friend. It’s not much, but it’s mine to give.”

“That ain’t true, Theia.” He says easily as he wraps one of the arms that was once behind his head around you in a half-hug. “It’s more than I could evah ask fo’. Thanks fah bein’ mah friend. You’re right. I could use a few ah those.”

You smile, and wrap one of your arms around him in return, careful not to squish the ball of piglet between you. “Of course, Angel. I’m honored to call you my friend.”

In a few moments, you end the hug and snuggle Nuggs some more.

Angel turns his head to look at you, a wickedly sinful smirk on his face. “So, Occhi, since we’s such good friends an’ all…about Smiles,” He begins, and you swallow visibly. “When’re yous two gonna do the dirty, eh?”

You blush. “It’s not like he’s familiar with sex, Ange.” You roll your eyes and his smile seems to soften at the nickname. “I can’t very well expect to just jump his bones even if I want to bang him like a screen door in a tornado.”

He laughs, then raises an eyebrow. “Why not? Ya ain’ gettin’ any older, now are yah?”

“I need to take things at his pace, no matter what I might want or blink.” You nervous pun out as you respond. “He may be the big bad Radio Demon, but I’m worried that if I make the wrong move he’ll freeze like a deer in the headlights and bolt, or worse, lash out and do something he regrets. I can take care of myself, of course. I just don’t want my desires to hinder the possibility of something more.”

“Damn, Occhi, I know I said you got 'im whipped, but yous crazy for him too, ain’t yah?”

You blush a light shade of violet. “Of course I am.” You sigh. “I’ve had a thing for him for years if I’m being honest with myself, and I guess I am since I’m here with view.”

He ignores your pun and zeros in on what you just divulged. “Shit, years? I thought you met him like a week ago.”

You flush darker. “I did. I told you, I’ve been in Hell a long time. I was careful that he never saw me watching him, but you know, it gets to me.”

“Ya like watchin’ him fight that bad, huh.” He teases, a smirk on his face. “You two fuckin’ freaks were made for each otha. Ya got mah blessin’, not that yah need it.”

You chuckle. “Even still, Ange, it’s surprisingly comforting to hear.”

A thumping in the vents above startles you. “Hi, Angel! I’m just here to deliver a message! I won’t come in since you told me not to! Sir’s back and he’s looking for you, Theia!”

“Thanks, Niff!” You call back as she retreats back down the ventilation shaft she came in through. You look to Angel. “Well I suppose I should go and see what he wants.” You say calmly as you sit up.

Angel laughs. “Smiles probably found some poor sap for yah tah kill like yah been wantin’ fo’.”

Your eyes flash red and you grin wickedly. “He did promise me some fun.”

“Go get ‘im, Occhi! Jus’ don’ skimp on da details latah!”

You laugh as you surprise him with another hug, then stand. “For you, Ange, absolutely.”

You cross the room once more and open the door, eager to see what Al has waiting for you on the other side.

A/N: I hope you liked Theia's introduction to Fat Nuggets and thought she handled Angel's problems as well as she could! She knows she can't do much to help him right now, but she's more than willing to be his friend in the meantime! I'm very happy with this chapter and I love how genuine Angel feels to me here.

Chapter 19 will NOT be Stab Stab Murder Time, despite the fact that I had intended it to be. Chapter 19 is what I like to call, 'Oops Theia spoke French and it broke Alastor,' at least until I come up with a better set of eye puns for it.

First || Chapter 17 || Chapter 19

[thatcheeseycandle]

//WAKE UP YOU LOT TW FOR MAJOR SPOILERS ON IPOS'S CHP. 35 BLUE PETER ITS TIME FOR A READING

Ogdkayahahhaaa OFHHAHgAHANAHAHZHSBSXUGCGDAGCSKHVSBVS

YOU ANEKAY

THE SUMMARY IS ALREADY FRYING UP MY THROAT

wait WIA TWIA TIAUJAIAIAA OLIVA REAT UP FOR GODS SAKE

OLIVIA DO NOT NO NO

North NORTHHRHAHAHDHDVAHAHHAJAAOAOOAOAOA NORHTA REASEARCH

HIS RESEARCH

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID OLIVIA GO THROIGH THEM FILES

Wait WAIT. PEONY JUST- OH YEAH THAT MAKES SENSE NGL

STILL NOTING DOWN

Wait A HOUSE??????? WDYM AT ROOSTERA FARM. OKAY YEAH. CONAIDERING A LOT I'D HAVE TO STRETCH OUT A GUESS THAT THIS IS WHERE GNSJOURNAL TOOK PLACE WITH THE LIGHTING

But like I said THATS A FAR ATRETCH SO YEAH COUGHA YEAH

Wait AY AY WAIT. IM GUESAING THAT WAS POLLY NGL YEAH. YEAH THAT WAS POLLY DEF DEF

OKAY I GOTTA SPEEDRUN YHIS READ ITS NEARLY DINNER FOR ME RN AS OF WRITING THIS YEAH THIS SENTENCE

Ay AY. I

I newd I NEED. TO NOT. SCREAM. Give me a sec

Okay I screamed MYAHAIAAAAAAAA MU GOSH

I

I SCREAMED AGAIN WHAT AY AY AY AY OLVIAII OLVIAIA SAAN KA NAAAAAAAA

GOOD GOSH- THIS IS WHY YOU WRITE DOWN ADDRESSES PEONY THIS IS WHY

Ay AYAYAYAYAYAY KING GEORGER CORBYN AYYYYYY

Oh. Oh right Merfyn and his uh COUGH COUGH. BLACK SMOKE. Ah.

Wait so- WAIT. OH THAT LITTLE SHIT. SO WAIT HE MEANT ALL THAT THE ENTIRE TIME. THAT LITTLE PRICK I SWEAR

Oh OH??? WELL DANG. AT LEAST HES BETTER AMIRIGHT-

Well crap thats THATA GONNA BE A SHORT ATORY ISNT IT

Blue pink?? TV GIR- NO NO NOT A TV GIRL REFERENCE DW

Woah WOAH WE GOING ALL NUMBERS NOW AY? THISLL BE INTEREATING NGL

I. Yeah uh COUGHS. A CERTAIN CAPRICORN WILL NOT BE PLEASED AT THAT MERFYN (the names are starting to confuse me IM SORRY)

ah gosh I GOTTA GO EAT SEC

AAAAAAAAA AI HAVE NEVER EATEN DINENR THAT FATS OGAHHSHS MY STOMAVH YEAH ITS GONNA EXPLODE

RIGHT BACK TO YEAH

My goah GOOD GOSH- MERFYN????? YOU PRICK YOUR LITERALLY MORE THAN A PRICJ NGL

Oh OG???????? NO WAY NO WAYAYHABDHDHDHAHAHHDDH

TAKE THAT KING II

Ah gosh KING GEORGE YOU DID THE ONLY THING YOU COULD DW

WAIT. LET ME PROCESS ALL OF THAY PLEASE

AY AYAYAYYYYYY BLUE PETER

HEREA TH MAN OF THE HOUR LETS GO LETA GOOOOO

Oh. Right good gosh- RIGHT. I KEEP FORGETTING THAT. OUGH. IT HURTS

WAAAAITYTT

I JUST SCREAMED IM SO SORY BUT GOODF SOH

STH AND EMOLY

Insrrt me reading all fo this wjusy speechless until-

"I just don't know! I'm confused, alright! What is this, a therapy session?!" I JUST. I BURSTED IM SORRY

THATS WHAT EVERY SCENE LIKE THIS FEELS LIKE GAGAHAHAHDGDHDHDH

IDK WHY I JUST BURSTED INTO LAUGHTER FOR THAT LONG DHFJFHJSHS

BACK TO SERIOUS MODE

Insrry me getting up and just ranting and rambling and sayung a kot after reading that yeah the thing Blue Oeter asked being "Are you offering mr a place on Sodor, sir?"

OHMYGAHAHAHAHAHGDJDUDDH

I COULDNT CONTAIN MYAELF I HAD TO I NEEDED TO JUST LET OUT ALL THE WORDS ALL THE SVREAMEA

MY GOASYJAJAJAIDH

I

IK SAINT MUNGO IS HAVIGN FUN WITH TORNADO AND CHARLIE

BUT GOOD GOSH HE NEEDS TO GET BACK TO BLUE OETER RN

RN. AS IN RN RN.

"AAGUWUAHABAAAAA MY THROAT" -what I just screamed out

Ay AY AY AY ITS THE BTI

WE'RE FINALLY HERE WITH THE AUSSIES LETS GO

Oh gosysb GREY GREY NONONOONONO

INSERT ME JUST AAYIMG VARIATIONS OD NO DONT DO IT IRL YEAH

OH THANK YOU PENDENNIS THANK GOD AND ABOVE GOSH

Ay ay AY AY

RIGHT TRURO- RIGHT. GOD UH. RIGHT

Bittern OFUJDDHDH I LOVE YOU GOOD GOSH FINALKY SOMEONE SAYING AOMETHING LIKE TGAT

"Course not! He's out in his human build right?" gREY MY GIRL HAGSHDHDH GOOD GOD

HDFHDJSHSH YEAH JUST CASUAL CASUAL

Ah God whos gonna tell Pendennis HAGHAGAHAGSHSGD

Insert me standong up just saying variations of oUGFFHHF and just irl jeyboard smashes

Insert me just being shocjed and hust rambling lshocked at what Horatio just did and how he looks

OHNSFAJAGAHAHHAHDD

PAUSE. SIT. CALM. I NEED TO PROCESS THAT

SERIOUSLY I MEAN. CONSIDERING HOW EXPOSED WE, THE READERS, ARE TO GDCS ALREADY I MEAN YEAH I WAS NEAR THE LEVEL OF SHOCK-NESS GREY AND GOLD HAD

Look LOOK IK ITS BEEN SAID LIKE HEY YEAH GDCS ARENT MUCH NORMAL AND YEAH MOST ENGINES ARENT AWARE OF THAT YADAYADAYADA YKNOW

but sraly I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS THIS SEVERE

Wait. QUICJSILVLERR?????

JAQUELINE- JAQULEINEGSHAJAAAAAAAAAAAA

OKAY IM YEAH YEAH

WDYM HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITG HER PAST??????

.

WAIT

HOW ON EARTH DOES JAQUELINE KNOW THAT. WAIT- IS SHE OKAY????????? NAH NAH SRSKY IS THIS WOMAN OKAY LIKE GOOD GOSH.

WDYM YOU JUST KNOW??????? WDYM. LIKE

WDYM RAT OUT TO THE GOLDEN ORDER???????

I

WHAT

WHTAAYAUAAAAAAAA

INSETRRYREY ME HAVING A HEART ATYACJ OHGMAUAUAOAB MERRY IS JAQUELINE BUT EAIT HOW I MEAM HOW HOW I JSYTS DID SHE DIE OR DID NORTH WHAT HUH WHAT HAPPEHHAJAAAAAAAAAA

[iriswestallenn]

The final season of Ted Lasso wasn't good

Long Post Warning

In my opinion of course, it was just wasn't very good and the finale was bad.

They didn't know what to do with Keeley. Her friend, Shandy, didn't add anything. Her relationship with Jack was stupid. Jack fucking with Keeley's business didn't matter because it was resolved in one episode thanks to Rebecca. Then they decided to make the love triangle a thing again. We'll come back to that later.

Nate lmao you can forgive people. They don't need to bend the knee or buy you flowers for you to forgive them or to prove they are worthy of forgiveness. All they need to do is show they've changed, grown, and learned from their mistakes. The problem with Nate is not that they ALL forgave his slimy ass. The problem is we never see the change. He cries to his dad, he gets a gf, he realizes Rupert is an asshole. We spend no time with Nate being worthy of forgiveness to THE RICHMOND TEAM. He gets the girl and he's cured of his asshole-ness. The girl in question btw? Bland. No personality, we don't know why they like each other. The end.

Sam and Zava. Nonsense. Colin's storyline was cool. I like that he didn't want to be an out player because he didn't want to be the spokesperson for that or for that to be his main identity. A good amount of time was spent on that story and I liked it (see I can like things) but the same can't be said for Sam and Zava. They gave Sam a racism storyline which resulted in his restaurant getting vandalized and the end. No, wait, I'm sorry! Sam is gonna keep shattered glass in the restaurant as a reminder of the criminal act because... believe??? Never mind that could injure the guests, we're an inspirational show people we gotta keep inspiring! All Zava did was get Jamie to want to be better. That's it. So much of Zava should have been cut, oh my god.

Ted. Who? Barely in the final season. Apparently has had panic attacks since his father passed away and his mom knew and just ignored them? Episode 3 (I think) Ted reached for alcohol and we just skated past that. I have no idea how Ted is doing lmao if he's "obviously" doing well, I couldn't tell you how he got there. We got so many fucking shots of his therapist during the finale. More than we did the entirety of season 3. Oh well I guess hope he's happier back home

Maybe I'm being dramatic but Beard and his gfs relationship came off super toxic but they're married now so who cares I guess

Rebecca spent the whole show obsessed with Rupert and when we finally got away from that, surprise! She wants kids. Okay... sure. It's not easy to get over a man you loved who treated you like shit and who you felt robbed you of so many years. I'm not saying she should have gotten over it quicker. I just feel disappointed this was her whole story. There could have been so much more for Rebecca but instead all we got was her getting back at her ex and finding a new man on a boat and kids and blah blah blah

Roy and Jamie. My favorite part of the season. Jamie's arc was excellent and the actor did a fantastic job. Brett Goldstein is also great and has been at this acting/writing thing since 2005! I am so happy he finally got this huge show. Roy is such a cool fucking character. Too bad they went to shit in ONE EPISODE. Okay, I'm being a bit dramatic, I'm glad Roy went to therapy in the end there but that bar scene irritated me. - Actually we fucked last month. - Well that video was sent to me! What the fuck??? Gross gross gross. They put Keeley back in the love triangle and then gave no real resolution? She chose herself? Okay. Can we get a scene of her realizing both these dudes need to work on themselves and she doesn't want either of them ever again or? No? We're just gonna shut the door? Oh okay.

Overall, I'm just disappointed. I know no one will read this but Ted Lasso was a comfort show for me at one point. It premiered in 2020 when we all needed something wholesome and funny. Shame it couldn't stick the landing for me.